Alamelu Janaki

   “April is the cruelest month” T.S. Eliot said, I can’t agree more.          It has been a decade since your demise. And life refused to be the same way since then.         Mother is absolutely the dominant force in all our lives, the strongest connection ever. Because they gave us life and laid the foundation of life and knowledge. I have always thought, you unknowingly raised us to be independent and self-assured. I often feel things would have been much different if you were around.       I had   questions like “why it had to be you?” “what next happens to you?” “where did we fail you?” “we abandoned you or you chose it?.” over the years, I understood that’s the course of life. What has to happen will happen and over time, we get used to the pain and navigate the absence in each different ways.       People say my daughter looks more like ...

  Appa is now my amma as well. This is an appa’s appreciation blog. Post amma’s demise, I longed for my mother’s presence, not having realised, what a solid support my father has been offering me. Appa’s love language is never loud and clear, I don’t remember   we having any sort of physical touch. He isn’t expressive. But, In retrospection,   I see that he is the embodiment of love. In all the little and big things he did for me, I have propelled   forward.   Appa is now my amma as well. Post childbirth, he helps me run the family whenever he comes to Bengaluru. I would be so lost in void if not for his contribution. When appa comes to  Bengaluru,   he does the following things: 1.                  He completely takes care of   Thulir, bathes her, feeds her, changes her diaper, takes her for a stroll, engages her with no trace of grumblings.   2.    ...

  A letter to my mother . 30/04/2022. Amma, I am married. I am sure you should be happy. A guy who took education very seriously and an Anna University Grad, who fought his way up and brought a change to his life. I am sure you will like him and boast about his achievements or whatever.   I am glad for this very reason that I found him. It is six years ma. As each year pass, I am scared if you are moving distant, time is fleeting. Every other day, I will want to ring you up and say, ma I made this today, I reached college, I am unwell, I missed my date and every other intricate detail. I posted a random pic today and Madhan told me that I look beautiful like you. It was overwhelming ma. I don’t like to carry symbols of marriage, I hate to comb my hair nor to put efforts to present myself in the way the society wants. But if I am to depict you, I will do that. No qualms. Amma, I am confident and assertive, I know what I want. But on the flip, I am trembling with fear....