Alamelu Janaki

    I am 8 months pregnant. I am married for a year and 6 months. I had so many apprehensions concerning marriage. Perhaps due to   my overthinking or my consistent exposure to certain texts in literature or my independent ideologies made me think   all sort of negatives about having a husband. To name a   few, the husband figure will be dominating, he would be judgmental and curb my freedom, like he will always confront me for my choices and   confine my flow of thoughts and lot more. I have imagined all the horrible things, like what if I hate him after being married, what if he hates me after living with me for few years or months or days. I used to rant and rave to my friends about what guarantees joy in marriage, what surety promises us for longevity   in marriage and lot more skeptical things. I will imagine the worst for every possible thing. I wasn’t ready for marriage. I don’t exactly know the cause of my fear but it will spiral up in humu...

  I am not really   fond of gaudy ornaments. I will always prefer to keep it simple. I don’t like shiny embellishments, I firmly believe it will go against my dusky complexion. We weren’t allowed to wear bangles or gaudy earrings at   school and hence when I wear any of these post my schooling, I would feel uneasy. This doesn’t necessarily mean I despise those, sometimes I am fond of earrings (jhumukas, long colorful ones). I cant wear it for long though. My indulgence in buying those fancy earrings are on the rise these days. I have consciously decided to stop myself from these frivolities. My recent favourite is the one, my friends gifted me for my wedding, a beautiful gold jhumuka. They dangle and sway as I move. It is heavy that I have to remove it every single time when I lie down.   Maybe due to the pregnancy hype for bangles,   I wanted to wear simple yet elegant gold bangle. The one my parents gave me during my marriage wasn’t my choice. I did not bo...