What Makes a Woman Happy? Reading Hooked by Asako Yuzuki
Over years, my exposure to feminist literature and theories taught
me to associate confinement as a major source of women’s unhappiness. I have
likely believed that the pressing need of the society -to marry and to raise a
family- as a major obstacle for a woman’s fulfilment. The domestic labour,
absence of finances, familial restrictions are some of the prominent hindrances.
In Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, there is a popular fable that answers the
most sought question- “what makes a women happy?”, the answer was the freedom
to choose, the freedom of making a choice and executing it in free will. However,
the clear solutions of education, financial independence and greater freedom of
choice did not make the dissatisfaction in women disappear (or I think so). The modern predicament has merely changed shape.
Reading Hooked by Asako Yuzuki,
I was bothered by a different question- Why do so many of us continue to
imagine that happiness exists somewhere else, in another version of our lives? What if the problem was never simply a lack
of freedom, but our expectation that freedom would make us whole?
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| The image in the picture is a representation of a variety of fish called Nile Perch- a fish that eats other fishes or need be its own variety to survive. The fish is a recurring image in the book to represent the destructive nature of the protagonists. |
The novel proposes that freedom produces new anxieties. If
marriage and motherhood are no longer seen as the definitive sources of
fulfilment, where does happiness reside? Is it found in work, friendship,
creative pursuits, or love? The very freedom to choose among multiple paths can
become a burden, leaving us constantly wondering whether fulfilment lies
elsewhere.
The book focuses on the eerie and complex equation between two female characters: Eriko- the high earning career woman, with a strong family support system and Shoko- the laidback homemaker with a popular social media presence. There is a lacuna (a sense of lack, void- feeling that something very essential is missing from their lives) in each of them and they look at each other and believe that the other person’s life has the secret ingredient to happiness and fulfilment. Eriko is attracted to the carefree attitude, impression of belonging in Shoko. While Shoko admires the freedom, glamour and independence of Eriko. But neither of them seems to be happy nor content because they are constantly comparing and are consciously aware of the endless alternatives to their choices and ways of life. Each of them becomes the embodiment of an unlived life for the other. This comparison is an extension of the longing of the self to feel complete and content.
This resonates strongly with the contemporary age of social
media, where women are told that they can have it all- a fulfilling marriage, a
successful career, meaningful friendships, glowing skin, healthy body along
with personal and professional freedom. This far-fetched promise is liberating but
with impossible standards. If access to every forbidden path is suddenly open, dissatisfaction
becomes more of a personal failure than a shortcoming of the structured
society. Here the blame lays with the individual and not on the societal setup.
Hooked works on this premise: what does a woman
actually do when she is free to choose? Freedom can obviously remove certain
barriers but it does not eliminate insecurity, fear, envy, loneliness and the
need for recognition. This leads Eriko
and Shoko to think that by clinging on to other person, their dissatisfaction
towards life can be resolved. But the
novel gradually proves otherwise- their obsession over each other becomes eerie
and highly destructive.
Hooked has offered me a new perception that for a
woman freedom is essential but that doesn’t guarantee happiness. In an age where we witness various versions of
womanhood through social media, the natural urge to compare, envy and reimagine
the possibilities of alternatives has intensified. I think, we mostly find it
easier to believe that happiness exists
somewhere else, probably always in the road not taken.
Hooked got me
thinking – do we really learn to love or be happy with the choices we have
already made? Be it the decision of marriage or the pursuit of career or the
choice of begetting children, to switch jobs, to pause the career and focus on
family, whatever the case is we sometimes conveniently believe solution for our
problems lies in another version of ourselves. This alternative is sourced from
other people’s stories and the fantasy of what life might have been.
Perhaps the answer lies in finding contentment in the
choices we have already made, rather than searching for the missing piece of
ourselves in another person's life. I think my acquaintance with Eriko and
Shoko made me realise Happiness lies not in aspiring to another version of
ourselves, but in embracing the imperfect, limited, and uniquely possible lives
we already have.
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| The above and the following pictures are few of my favourite lines from the book. |
Very nice and philosophical. All enlightenment story says find happiness in what you have. May be you are enlightened today.
ReplyDeleteI think so too!
DeleteWhat an insightful rendition janu.. would love to read it again as it compliments to what many women go through at different stages of life.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much
DeleteWhat if humans especially women were like a leaf that fell into a mountain stream, just ever flowing with no identification with the terrain through which it goes ... you're identification to anything keeps you hooked to it ... and this awareness allows you to perceive life differently.
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to read the book Ala, keep reading and keep exploring. Very happy to see how these recent books are shaping your thoughts.
Thank you very much.
DeleteA well-written blog. Thank you for sharing your reflections. I haven't read the novel myself, only this review, so spare me if I may be missing some nuances of the novel.
ReplyDeleteI wonder whether the unhappiness described here is really about women choosing freedom, or whether it is about a more universal human tendency, which is comparing our lives to those of others. Anyone, regardless of gender, can become dissatisfied when they constantly measure their reality against an imagined ideal. I also think it is useful to distinguish between different kinds of freedom. Ambedkar, drawing from and reinterpreting Buddhist thought, speaks of both "social freedom" and "inner freedom". Social freedom is the ability to live with dignity, equality, and respect. It is freedom from structures of oppression and discrimination. For women, and especially for those facing intersecting disadvantages of caste, race, class, or other social hierarchies, this freedom has historically been denied. Inner freedom, on the other hand, is freedom from fear, ignorance, attachment, insecurity, and the need for external validation.
What concerns me is that discussions about freedom often conflate these two. In the age of social media, the distinction becomes even blurrier. Beauty standards, lifestyle aesthetics, career success, relationships, and even "freedom" itself are packaged into ideals that people feel pressured to perform. The result is that many end up chasing an image rather than pursuing genuine self-determination.
Where I disagree most is with the statement that "happiness lies not in aspiring to another version of ourselves, but in embracing the imperfect, limited life we already have". While I understand the sentiment, it becomes problematic when applied to women or other marginalized groups. Historically, progress has come precisely because people refused to accept the limitations imposed on them. Women did not gain rights by embracing the lives society prescribed for them they gained them by questioning those boundaries and aspiring beyond them.
The problem is not aspiration. Aspiration is often the engine of growth, liberation, and social change. Nor is the pursuit of freedom the problem. The problem arises when our sense of worth becomes dependent on external validation, when we seek happiness through becoming someone else rather than becoming more fully ourselves. Contentment is valuable, but it should not be confused with complacency. There is a difference between accepting ourselves and accepting injustice, especially between self-compassion and surrendering to social limitations. We can be grateful for what we have while still challenging the structures that diminish humanity and equality.
To me, happiness lies neither in endlessly chasing another life nor in passively accepting the one handed to us. It lies in seeking freedom, both inner and social, while continuing to grow without self-hatred, comparison, or the need for constant validation. In that sense, the goal is not to become another version of ourselves, but to become a fuller version of who we already are.
wow. your comment is so beautifully written, orderly presented. The social freedom and inner freedom suits to a T in the blog's context. With all due respect to every great mind's suffering and fight in emancipating women and other marginalised from societal confinements i have written this situating in the context of Hooked. Irrespective, i side with your take on Happiness.
DeleteAn amazing piece that made me reflect on the importance of accepting ourselves in every form. What resonated with me most was the idea that happiness may not necessarily lie in an alternative version of our lives, but in learning to appreciate and understand the life we already have.
ReplyDeleteI often feel that we perceive our lives as incomplete or unsatisfactory because we are constantly influenced by what others consider to be a successful or fulfilling life. Whether it is our parents, friends, society, or even people we disagree with, their opinions inevitably shape our understanding of happiness. While their guidance can be valuable, we sometimes forget to listen to ourselves and stay connected to our own nature.
For me, the blog was not just about dissatisfaction arising from personal failure or poor choices. Rather, it highlighted how easily we compare our lives with those of others and begin believing that fulfilment exists somewhere else. In doing so, we risk overlooking what truly matters to us.
My takeaway from this piece is that happiness comes not only from accepting the choices we have made, but also from accepting ourselves. The more we understand who we are and what genuinely aligns with us, the less likely we are to search for the missing pieces of ourselves in someone else’s life.
Thank you, I am glad that it resonated well with you
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